Lexicon of Terminology

Alternative
In order for something to be alternative, it must be non-traditional, unconventional, or outside of the mainstream. That which is a category in major music store outlets and on Clear Channel radio stations is NOT alternative.

Comedy
Comedy is divided into two tiers, Low and High. Low comedy deals with cuss words, sexuality, violence, and poop. High comedy deals with wit, political satire, sarcasm, irony, trickery, and references drawn from a rich vocabulary and world knowledge. Low Comedy is bad because it encourages the lower class to experience pleasure.

False Music
False Music is that which imitates simple elements of True Music, but is merely a collection of repeated slang (much like obscene gestures and curse words) musical phrases for the purposes of communicating to the uneducated. False music ceases to exist upon analysis.

Fun
Fun is the experience of pleasure derived from meaningless activities, without regard to long-term benefit or consequences. Humans should seek out and perform behaviors which are important. Activities that are fun include: consumption of fast food, the reading of magazines, driving fast to show off, collecting unnecessary possessions, dressing up in cultural costumes, participating in large crowd behavior and group think, drinking alcohol, and any other activity that causes a human to share and feel the same as all other humans. Important business is conducted alone, and is concerned with rewards that are exponential.

Guitar Virtuoso
A number of inventive guitar techniques were developed in the 1980’s by the guitar players, Edward Van Halen, Yngwie J. Malmsteen, Joe Satriani, and Steve Vai. They discovered many new ways to play their instruments; new ways of making sounds to be molded into creative compositions. Entire instrumental albums were made incorporating as many of these complex techniques as possible. They researched all of the harmonic and rhythmic possibilities available to them and assimilated them into their musical vocabulary. They practiced these techniques for many hours a day for many years, in order to master the nuance and subtleties. To conquer an instrument was considered a virtue in those days. Unfortunately, their own attempts to communicate to an uneducated audience made a mockery of their sacred craft. Not enough humans would have understood the sounds these virtuosos were making without some form of visual entertainment attached. To get rich and famous, they needed a pop hook; something for the average human to understand. The fools in the back of the concert hall needed to know when to hoot and holler in their drunken stupor. As a result, the guitar virtuosos donned costumes and obnoxious dance moves. These gimmicks became unshakeable clichés in magazines and on music television, corrupting the pure science they had once dedicated themselves to. As the popularity of their abilities increased, too many pot-boiling copies of copies were made, and the original purpose of craftsmanship was insidiously replaced with the superficial image of poofy hair, makeup, and tongue-flailing. Their substance became a mere style, and the art and science of the guitar virtuoso was lost for nearly 20 years.

Imitation
Only behaviors that are simple can be easily imitated. For example, a drunken slur can be imitated. A virtuoso pianist executing a complex piece of music cannot. If it can be easily imitated, it is False.

Morello, Tom
Rich kid rock star.

Overeating
Do not consume more energy than you can produce. The more you overeat, the more fat your body will store. The fat, itself, then becomes hungry. It requires extra food to feed the fat and keep it alive. It is inefficient to carry around a hungry blob attached to your skeletal and muscular structure. It serves no functional purpose. It is a disease with exponential consequences. When you feel full, throw the rest away. It is better to waste food outside of your body than inside your body.

Prog / Progressive
That which fails to make progress is NOT progressive. Imitation of music from the 70’s does not make progress.

Style of Music
As in, “What style of music do you play?” Answer: style is nothing but a superficial costume placed on True Music. It is a collection of formal clichés or bits of simplified cultural vocabulary that any human can understand, which are typically added to increase the marketability of a work. These are pre-programmed settings that can be found in cheap keyboards and drum machines, such as Rock, Pop, Metal, Disco, Country, Rap, Jazz, Blues, Reggae, and Classical. True Music has no regard for these categories, for it is concerned only with the notes rather than their socio-historical significance. Style of Music is also known as Genre.

Style of Dress
That which is stylish must in some way be inefficient, non-functional, or non-utilitarian. Pants that are too loose and must be held up; baseball hats that are turned sideways; sunglasses at night; uncomfortable shoes that causes a female human to walk strangely; hair that is standing upright or cut unevenly, requiring preparation in order to look unprepared; ties, tight collars, and belts constricting the neck in office buildings; winter clothing worn in the summer; jewelry inserted into stretched-out holes punched in the body, et cetera.

True Music
True Music is the creative arrangement of sounds without regard for style or genre. It is only concerned with the actual notes rather than their socio-historical significance or commercial value.

War On Terror, The
The installation of a fascist theocracy masquerading as an endless military campaign with no objective criteria for success. If it is indeed a war, how will the U.S. know it has won?