The third official edition of “Why Are You Asking Me?” has been posted to the Anti-Social Talk Show RSS Feed. Listen to the Podcast on iTunes, or directly download the mp3 file HERE. Please email drzoltan@drzoltan.com to have your question answered by Dr. Zoltan and his research team (also known around the TED Conference as The Temponautical Navigators).

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[Transcript begins]

You are listening to, “Why Are You Asking Me?” with Dr. Zoltan OO… Ooobllluhg lugh. 

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Some of you may find this believable… but Dr. Zoltan was invited to participate in a Grand Panel discussion at Full-Scale Center For Multiple Media Recording Design in Saskaweewah, Florida. I can’t remember when it happened, but it was quite a long time ago. And what he discovered was that instructors are deadlocked in debate about the merits of analog vs. digital. Some students and professors claimed to be able to “hear” the difference between digital sound and analog SOUND.

Dr. Zoltan put his research team to work on this problem immediately. And after 16 or so years of VERY EXPENSIVE acoustic tests, the following facts were uncovered: Number one… out of 650,000 sound waves surveyed, 100% answered that they were completely analog. The research team was surprised to also make the correlation that 100% of speakers in the known universe also resonate in analog sound waves.The research team was surprised to also make the correlation that 100% of speakers in the known universe (that’s a lot) also resonate in analog sound waves. It was even proven, via applications of Matrix Algebra and Convolution, that the human ear is 100% analog. Therefore, it is virtually impossible (if you can count that high) to realistically hear quote-unquote digital sound: as it does NOT exist.

Dr. Zoltan employs a full-time research team to answer questions just like this one. if you have a question for Dr. Zoltan, please email it to drzoltan@drzoltan.com with “Attn: Speed Metal Department” in the subject line.

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Dr. Zoltan employs a full-time research team to answer questions just like this one. If you have a question for Dr. Zoltan, please email it to drzoltan@drzoltan.com, with Attn: Speed Metal Dept. in the subject line.

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Dr. Zoltan’s “Why Are You Asking Me?” is syndicated by WFIT 89.5 FM in Melbourne, FL and INK19.com.