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New, Taller 16:12 Aspect Ratio In Development

John 16:12 “I have much more to say to you, more than you can now bear.”

Dr. Zoltan, creator of the failed syndicated radio show, “Why Are You Asking Me?” has announced that he is developing a new, taller, better video aspect ratio known as 16:12.

“It is better because it is taller than 16:9,” said Dr. Øbelisk, from his top-secret laboratory that orbits the moon.

It is a revolutionary change that will mean more storytelling power for blockbuster directors. Filmmaker Peter Jackson has already planned to shoot both of his upcoming Hobbit feature films using specially-modified prototype cameras, allowing more breathtaking views of epic landscapes and mythical battles.

Some skeptics point out that this discovery will require overhauling every movie theater in the world, raising not only their roofs but ticket prices.

Jeff Blake, President of Sony Pictures, in an interview at USC Film School last week, remarked: “Moviegoers are not ready for movies that are taller. Hell, we only made them wider a few years ago. Why confuse everyone?” However, both Regal and AMC chains are already planning to modify up to 90% of their movie screens by 2011 to accommodate this newly discovered technology.

George Lucas has reportedly pre-ordered a dozen upgraded cameras for Industrial Light & Magic. “Imagine how the original Star Wars Trilogy would look in this new, expanded aspect ratio. Wow.”

For more information on 16:12, visit Dr. Zoltan’s website.

Whitley Strieber’s New Audio Feature: “Night Thoughts”

Whitley Strieber discusses:

“There is a concept connected with these [symbols], which is: this is self-activating software. The shapes themselves, when imprinted on the right materials, change those materials. The crop circles are being imprinted in two different places. On the earth itself. And IN OUR MINDS.”

Listen to Night Thoughts.

Space Itself Was Created In The Big Bang

According to Janna Levin, a professor of physics and astronomy at Barnard College of Columbia University: “The Big Bang is often misunderstood as an explosion in Space, as though Time and Space existed. But Space itself is created in the Big Bang.”

You will not have fun if you consume this product. This work of high art must be taken seriously. Sit calmly, away from the herd, and pay close attention. Do not dance. Do not drink alcohol or smoke reefer while in the presence of this creative work. Use your intellect to dissect its many elements. Collective consumption in a party atmosphere is prohibited. Use your own mind to judge its complexity and worth. Fun is for humans who cannot think of anything important to do. We are NOT all the same. All content positioned by Dr. Zoltan! // Licensed under CC3.0 // Hosted by Ubikorp // Design by CarlKingCreative