Dr. Zoltan recently visited a relatively permanent enclosed structure where justice is administered. He perhaps incurred the dissatisfaction, dislike, and disapproval of the public officer charged with the administration of justice.
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The fifth official edition of “Why Are You Asking Me?” has been posted to the Anti-Social Talk Show RSS Feed. Listen to the Podcast on iTunes, or directly download the mp3 file HERE. Please email drzoltan@drzoltan.com to have your question answered by Dr. Zoltan and his research team (also known around the TED Conference as The Temponautical Navigators).
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[Transcript begins]
You are listening to “Why Are You Asking Me?” with Dr. Zoltan Oo-bah-lisk. Ue… balisk. Unfortunately, Dr. Zoltan’s research team is on some sort of expedition or… very busy this week. Or either not busy, or taking a week off. So Dr. Zoltan is going to be required to read from a handful of cue cards which were left on his desk by his assistant Brian Compton. Dr. Zoltan narrated some thoughts to Brian, and hopefully they are going to come out OK. Without the research team, but it will probably be a complete disaster. So if you are looking for a professional uh, commentary… You are gonna have to look someone else, like a Dan Carlin podcast or something like that, maybe 2600… um. OK, and here we go. I am going to try reading from these… let me just shuffle them. Am I supposed to shuffle them? I’m not sure. That is what I usually do with cards. OK.
The follow question was found written on the underside of a collating table in the back of a print shop, if you can believe that… written with what appeared to be a CMYK grease pencil of some sort.Hmm. Four color job. It asked, “Dear Dr. Zoltan: are the 2008 US Elections Going To Be Cancelled?”
Well… Dr. Zoltan will now answer that question. After just a moment. Here, put these over here where I can see them. OK.
As most of you know by now, if you watch television… It is a fact that Sarah Palin is the most dangerous person in the United States. Dr. Zoltan does not own a television or… He does have cable, though. Plenty of cables. Back to the story. Uh…
Like a rabid squirrel making a beeline for your pantleg, she must be stopped. That’s what it’s written. It’s uh, it’s written here on this cue card so I’m just reading it. I don’t know what that means.
Sarah Palin’s tactic has always been: I don’t think I was supposed to read the colon. act tough and insane, and your animalistic superiority will intimidate your opponent. She’s right… That was a contraction there. I don’t allow contractions on this show. I’m going to retract that contraction and just make it uh… she is right. Simply because she’s right. Sounds repetitive. She will win because she will win. Team spirit. Sports mentality. Keep fighting no matter what. It doesn’t matter if you have thought your argument through.
Who wrote these stupid cue cards? OK. This just sounds very mechanical.
To many humans… uh. Yes, no… the other too. Too many humans think that debating is like arm-wrestling: that the person who pushes hardest wins. Not so.
Intellectuals such as scientists, mathematicians, and philosophers are required to check their work, take a step back, question everything, and make sure they are correct before they proceed. Sarah Palin will not participate in this twaddle. I don’t know what a twaddle is. Sounds something involving a duck. OK, uh.. the next cue card says.
A human who is unable to doubt — oh, this is uh… this is something I have said in many of my lectures — A human who is unable to doubt his or her ideas is incapable of critical thinking. I believe that. I’ll even repeat it. A human who is unable to doubt his or her ideas is incapable of critical thinking. What they ARE capable of is plunging the world back into the dark ages. I’m sure Reverend Wright wouldn’t even uh… touch that subject. Alright. Uh…
This leads Dr. Zoltan to believe that the 2008 US Elections will indeed be canceled, and the US Government will be replaced with the TED Conference. I don’t know why it says TED Conference. Alright, whatever. Next week the uh, the Research Team should be back from uh, I think maybe they’re at the TED Conference. I’m not even really sure where they are. Thank you all for listening, and let’s hope they get back soon and safely.
[Music fades up]
Dr. Zoltan employs a full-time research team to answer questions just like this one. If you have a question for Dr. Zoltan, please email it to drzoltan@drzoltan.com with “Attn: Speed Metal Dept.” in the subject line.
[End of transcript]
Dr. Zoltan’s “Why Are You Asking Me?” is syndicated by WFIT 89.5 FM in Melbourne, FL and INK19.com.
In this 2008 TEDTalks presentation, Jonathan Haidt explains some of the psychological tendencies (or “morals”) that end in the differences between so-called Conservatives and Liberals.
Dr. Zoltan wants you to grow big muscles and punch Sarah Palin! Visit http://www.drzoltan.com/blog to find out how you can achieve this in less than 8 weeks with no money down.
