The Summoning of Freddie Mercury’s Ghost

Posted in Antisociology, Music, War On Fun on Mon, 06 Oct 2008 12:49:23 -0400 by Dr. Zoltan!

Will Maier participated in a Séance this past weekend, during which Freddie Mercury’s Ghost was summoned and interrogated. Special thanks to Paul Feldman for his Stage Mediumship Scriptwriting Skills (10.0).

Dr. Zoltan wrote this blog entry while blindfolded, kneeling in front of a man holding a mummy’s foot in one hand and a crystal wand in the other. The man checked his pocket watch, cleared his throat, and brushed the cracker crumbs from his robe. Visit http://www.drzoltan.com/blog to find out the conclusion to this astonishing, esoteric scene!

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Dr. Zoltan & Will Maier Release Song About 9/11

Posted in Dr. Zoltan News, Music, The End of the Music Industry, The Rebirth of Fascism In The United States, War On Fun on Thu, 11 Sep 2008 15:29:42 -0400 by Dr. Zoltan!

What better way to celebrate seven years of confusion than with a campfire sing-a-long? Dr. Zoltan & Will have released a song called Freefall (Catchy Folk Tune To Celebrate The End of the Republic). You can download the song for FREE if you fill out this contact form: http://www.drzoltan.com/contact.php

CREDITS
Will Maier - Vocals
Dr. Zoltan - Acoustic & Electric Guitar, Keyboard, Bass, Drumkit From Hell

Cover art by CarlKingCreative

DR. ZOLTAN’S THOUGHTS ON 9/11
Dr. Zoltan’s take on this is very simple. He is not a conspiracy theorist, he just does not believe the official story of what happened on 9/11. He does not know what sort of dark force is responsible for making the buildings fall down, but here are his thoughts on some peripheral (yet central) issues.

The White House and CNN gave oversimplified explanations for the disaster and used them to justify an endless war. The American public cynically disregards their own powers of research and observation, handing over too much power and responsibility to their government and the media. There are many unanswered questions about 9/11 and the official stories are as confusing as the nutty ideas put forth by paranoid amateur filmmakers. More time and energy is spent on horrible tabloid stories like Anna Nicole Smith and Britney Spears than investigating a real crime. 

Instead of helping us make sense of it all, corporations and the government are feeding the stupidity of the masses, perpetuating consumerism and instilling a deep fear of objectivity. Team-oriented politics and conformist cult branding, fueled by religious dogma, racism, and fear, are substituted for the importance of… IDEAS. 

The War On Terror is a press release right out of George Orwell’s 1984. Terrorism is asymmetrical by nature. It cannot be fought with a “War.” Its sole purpose is to cause a government to implode on itself by bloating its military and restricting the freedoms of its citizens — warrant-less tapping of communications, detaining of random suspects, expanded executive powers, et cetera. Through this, a handful of chaotic individuals can cripple a country of hundreds of millions. In a police state everything grinds to a halt in the name of protecting the homeland from the boogeyman. Benjamin Franklin said it best: “They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.”

The truth is that “fun” products like cigarettes, alcoholic beverages, and junk / fast food kill more humans than terrorist attacks ever could. But in a world of billions of crazy humans with their hands on deadly technology, occasionally bad things will happen — on purpose. REALLY bad things. Humans can do their best to stop these things, but what they need is the strength and freedom to sustain damage and go on living. 

LYRICS
You’re better off hiding with some weapons in a hole
When a corporate fascist state has taken control
But instead you’re dancing, drinking, and you’re having lots of fun
While the end of the United States has already begun

Chorus
Brother, Look no further, there’s no other proof you need
Buildings can’t collapse at freefall speed

You can expect to see another pseudo-terrorist attack
When the best you’ve got are posing fakes like Tom and Zach
Hiding from the truth behind their blurry poetry
While the crime scene is buried at the bottom of the sea

It’s gonna come to civil war sooner or later
Protesting won’t stop an evil dictator
Don’t try to vote him out, there’s nothing you can say
The tyrant that’s in office isn’t going away

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War On Fun T-Shirts In New MutantMall Shop

Posted in The End of the Music Industry, War On Fun on Sun, 17 Aug 2008 16:36:03 -0400 by Dr. Zoltan!

BACK TO SCHOOL SALE! War On Fun T-Shirts are available for just $10 in the New MutantMall Shop.

Celebrity T-Shirt Model: Eman Laerton of YouHaveBadTasteInMusic and ChurchAcrossAmerica.

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Will Maier In Roundtable Pizza Commercial

Posted in Antisociology, Social Metaphysics, War On Fun on Fri, 25 Jul 2008 13:29:54 -0400 by Dr. Zoltan!

Dr. Zoltan’s lead vocalist, Will Maier, appears in this new Roundtable Pizza advertisement as “Les.”

{ This post was written and approved by Dr. Zoltan! If you think Dream Theater should lose the vocals and monophonic neo-baroque, visit http://www.drzoltan.com/blog. I need to brush my teeth! }

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Dr. Zoltan Featured In Mike And Ike Video Game!

Posted in Music, Social Metaphysics, War On Fun on Tue, 22 Jul 2008 15:02:46 -0400 by Dr. Zoltan!

The music of Dr. Zoltan Presents: Sir Millard Mulch’s Fanatical Video Game Retroverse has been licensed to Mike And Ike’s new video game, “Lemonade Blends Blitz.”

Play the game:

http://apps.facebook.com/mikeike_blitz/

{ This post was written and approved by Dr. Zoltan! If you believe that country folk are civilized, visit http://www.drzoltan.com/blog. Or just eat some candy that has been sitting around for 50 years. }

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Shame On Chipotle!

Posted in Social Metaphysics, War On Fun on Thu, 10 Jul 2008 18:51:22 -0400 by Dr. Zoltan!

Chipotle markets its food as some kind of hip, organic place to eat as a safe alternative to Fast Food. This is what their website says:

“Have we achieved our mission? No. Will we ever accomplish it? Never, because Food With Integrity is a constant process of searching and improving. But the changes will be noticeable, positive and significant.”

Yeah? Here are the positively noticeable and significant changes that will occur to your body after eating ONE BURRITO AND CHIPS:

And here is the VEGAN version, without chips…

Incredible! Zero Trans Fat!

From ChipotleFan.com
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Wiretapping? I Will MAKE It Legal.

Posted in Help From Outer Space, The Rebirth of Fascism In The United States, War On Fun on Wed, 09 Jul 2008 22:35:06 -0400 by Dr. Zoltan!

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The War On Fun’s First Family

Posted in Hrvst, War On Fun on Wed, 28 May 2008 21:10:40 -0400 by Dr. Zoltan!

Reports of cultural adoption of the War on Fun continue to trickle in, with WoF correspondent Hrvst Troggold reporting from the field:

It is their wish to be called of the first, for family to sell all their fun. The Essppo family of Sponnatra, Estonia, admonishes carefree splashings of local tropical bear club. It is forbidden to participate the fun, here! After, Essppo family invite chastened bears to meal of potato and rice, but was offer declined?

(photo by Rosalie Petralia)

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